healing... and hurting.

I had planned on posting today with news of a nightmare nearing it's end. My girl's rapidly healing tummy has made the awfulness of the whole Wednesday night debacle start to subside. The raw redness of last week has given way to soft pink new skin. The doctor attributes that to the wound being superficial. We are just about done with the Silvidine ointment - just applying it to a quarter sized patch of still healing skin... and then we will be on to something to help avoid scarring. Mederma perhaps. Bath time is back and oh how we love it! No more stinky toes!!! The healing of my babe's belly has me thinking of the nature of our wounds... how some heal quickly and how some never find the chance.

My Aunt KenniAnne took her life this morning. I do believe life is a gift given... but oh how it can be a tortured and terrible existence depending on who's living it. I was looking forward to heading down to SoCal in a couple of weeks to see my aunt when she came to visit from Ireland. I have not seen her, my cousins or my uncle since they moved to Ireland approximately 4 years ago...

My mom called to say that my Aunt K was in the hospital after an attempt at taking her life. This is not the first attempt, but very sadly it was the last. The news was bad, the outlook grim, my mom would keep me posted. Maybe 10 minutes passed before my mom called back to say that my Aunt KenniAnne had no fight left, her candle had finally faded out. I only say finally because the demise of her life has been in the works for quite some time. There was not enough joy inside of my aunt to keep her going.

I know my family will be angry. I know my family is hurt. I know my family is devastated. I know not to take this personally. She was my aunt... not my sister, not my daughter, not my mother, not my wife. I cannot begin to imagine the pain that has been left behind in the wake of my Aunt K's untimely (based on our calendar) death for those who held her dearest. My heart aches for my beautiful little cousins, my uncle, all who called KenniAnne friend, family, love. She brought much light to our lives, brief though it was.

My Aunt K had a great sense of humor. She was witty. She was spunky. She had a fuck-may-care attitude. She had spiky platinum hair... some days.... other's it was her natural Irish red. She was full of life when she lived. Unlike my baby healing due to a superficial wound, my Aunt K's wonderful personality was the superficial outer covering to her truly sad inner self. Sometimes superficiality is a blessing... sometimes it is not.

My hope is that once the pain of this nightmare too passes, all of the great things about who my aunt was will prevail in our memories. It will take time because as the saying goes "time heals all wounds..." though I wonder if the author who penned that little line had ever met my Aunt KenniAnne, might he have changed his tune???

The Flynn girls... KenniAnne, Natalie, Jamie, Terri