lessons learned...

what a tough week.
it all started with my decision to begin the Master Cleanse. now the cleanse itself really wasn't that difficult. I didn't make it as long as I had wanted but that wasn't due to any failure to adhere to the rules of the cleanse... it was more a result of circumstance.
Adam had not been feeling well. He'd been in bed all day and whenever he removed his head from his pillow he complained of wanting to vomit. BUT had not vomited because he'd put his head back down and resume his sleep. Around 9 p.m. of my third full day of the Master Cleanse I was getting ready to call it a day... I was tired, hadn't eaten in 3 days - though hunger wasn't a bother - and wanted to finish the day feeling proud of what I'd accomplished. I made my tea and was headed to my room to prepare Taluelah for bed. Cup in hand I strolled on in only to see Adam streak by me into the bathroom. "So much for finishing the day on a high note", was my thought. I knew Adam's dash to the bathroom was an attempt at ridding himself of the aforementioned vomit. Dustin does not handle puke. He never has and I long ago learned to accept the fact that when one of my children, or myself, is praying to the Porcelain God, it is my duty to comfort and clean.
I set my boiling cup of tea down on my night stand and went into the bathroom to help my ailing eldest child. Not two seconds passed before I heard the scream....
I have two children of the boy variety. They are 9 and 11. They have made it to their respective ages without any major catastrophes. No broken bones, one split lip, a sprained ankle here or there. That's it. They are boys. They climb. They jump. They defy gravity. They push the limits that God above has set before them. Forget any limits I might have tried to set. They are whole. They have all their pieces and parts. I have been lucky, they luckier.
I have one child of the girl species. my sweet little Taluelah RuebiSue. she is newly one year of age. she doesn't climb - much. she doesn't jump. she doesn't defy - often. she toddles around playing with her babies. she has a wonderful imagination which allows her to "see" and "taste" while she plays with her tea set... pouring a cup and drinking. sharing with anyone who might be her playmate at the moment. why wouldn't she grab mom's cup of tea that was sitting too damn low on the night stand... right within her grasp????
I ran into my room, assuming the scream was the result of smashed fingers or some other mildly concerning malady. My baby was red faced, crying, pushing at her abdomen trying to brush off the liquid fire. she had grabbed my cup of tea and spilled it down the front of her little pink tank top.
oh no, oh my god, oh no, oh my god.... those two phrases played over and over in my head as I rushed her to the bathroom to apply a cold washcloth to her stomach. Once I got the tank off of her I could see two small, what would have been blisters had they not already opened, and a large chili pepper shaped patch of red burned skin. Taluelah cried and I tried and tried to comfort her. as time passed the two smallish patches of popped blistered skin just became one large open wound. no blister ever formed. the skin just rolled off. gravity pulled it down while her tears broke my heart. We loosely gauzed and bandaged her up.
The decision was made to take her to the ER. Avery would come with me to try and comfort our girl since Adam was puking sick and would need his dad to take care of him. Dustin does tend to come through when forced. In the midst of all this chaos Adam was leaning over the toilet trying to decide whether it was more important to vomit or to try and comfort his little sister. I think the vomiting won out but not for lack of his concern.
Dustin's work truck was parked behind his dad's regular truck in our driveway. The reason the dad's truck was here is another story that we unfortunately are much too familiar with... vehicle trouble. It was on loan for a short while. Alas, not too short awhile. I couldn't get the emergency break off because apparently at some time unbeknownst to me a cable had snapped. I yelled for Dustin to help me get the e-break off, he yelled for me to get out of the truck. I hesitated. he yelled again for me to get out of the truck. I got out. Dustin, on his knees, leaning in the truck released the e-break. the truck rolled backwards. down our driveway. Dustin hanging outside of it. the truck rolled. Avery and Taluelah inside. the truck rolled. I jumped out of the way just as the door hit my arm... right after the door hit my deck. Dustin managed to get inside the truck and slam on the breaks inches from my neighbors driveway. if you think my driveway is a bit steep, you should see hers... mine goes down, hers goes down steeper. my deck faired well. the truck door, not so. my neighbors house better than any of us.
in a matter of minutes it was obvious I was going no where in the truck. the door had nearly been ripped off. I ran to my neighbors house - the one whose house we nearly plowed into with a truck and frantically pleaded to borrow her truck.... amazingly enough, she acquiesced.
Got Taluelah to the ER. They took her in right away. Assured me I wasn't the horrible, awful, negligent, horrible, awful mother I felt like. ice packed, slathered antibiotic cream, gauzed and re-wrapped her. and away we went to Safe-Way to purchase more gauze and non-stick pads to care for my sweet girl with the 2nd degree burn to her belly.
The whole ordeal, from beginning to where i am now, has felt much like a nightmare. The cleanse came to an abrupt halt after my daughter scalded herself with my laxative tea. Can't much stomach the stuff now. I felt I was going to need food to help sustain me through my girl's healing period. there are times in this life that only a chocolate chip cookie will help assuage the guilt/pain/ache caused by personal negligence. my girl WILL heal. there may be a rather large chili pepper shaped scar on her tummy from now 'til who knows when but the girl will go on. I will make it through the guilt and the stuck gauze and the greasy ointment to come out of this a bit shaken but all the more aware of the consequences of my every move.

day4 of healing

so now... lessons learned:
1. a person, more specifically I, can survive on quite a bit less food than previously believed.
2. Cayenne/maple syrup flavored lemonade really isn't that good.
3. hunger is a state of mind when there is a house full of food... but I wouldn't want to be familiar with it if food was not readily available.
4. hot liquid should NEVER, EVER, NOT FOR ANY REASON, EVER be placed within the reach of a small child.
5. DO place an ice pack over gauze to draw the heat away from a burn.

6. Dustin IS capable of caring for and cleaning a puking child... at least when I am consumed with aiding an injured one.
7. DON'T exit your, or your parent's, vehicle before being CERTAIN said vehicle is in PARK.
8. a year old toddler is nearly impossible to keep bandaged up for a twelve hour period.
9. when your one year old looks at you and touches her belly and says "OWWW" your heart will break again and the guilt will flood back in.
10. ALWAYS be thankful for the family and friends and neighbors who will help you when you need it most without asking questions or passing judgement.

So glad a new week is starting...